From The Bottom Of My Heart

Being greeted this morning as I was brushing my teeth by the ‘Ah Soh’ who comes in twice a week to clean should have been as normal as usual.

On the days that she comes in, if I’m around, I would quietly observe her movements as she endeavours about scrubbing, wiping and dusting, or her chats with the neighbour or my grandaunt while I myself busy about preparing to leave the house.

What I have noticed as a cumulative observation of the effect of her presence is that there is always a tranquil energy that emanates from her, even while she dusts and busts them dirt particles. From what I gather, she goes around cleaning different houses probably everyday, and she is probably older than the Mum.

She asked me a question, I answered, and then it struck me incredibly that she is so at peace with herself. That explains the softness that I always see in her face and eyes. So soft and calm that you can pick up the energy unconsciously.

Her presence made me see that we can enjoy what we do, regardless of what it is, as long as we decide that we would. I am humbled by how I felt this morning after that short question and answer session with her because I believe we shall all strive to have her kind of peace. I am humbled too because it shows that anyone and everyone who crosses your path can teach you or be an example of a worthy realisation.

She was abandoned a long time ago and the haunting memory has patronised her all her life until this very moment.

When she needs help, she is afraid that she has too much to ask of others that they may again abandon her because of the trouble she thinks she may be posing onto them.

How she feels, manifests in her actions. Others are unaware of her predicament. She helplessly tries to remain self-sufficient, and continues suffering.

Those who love her think she is too arrogant or egoistic to reach out. They are hurt, they want to help, but when faced with rejection from a victim unwilling to put out her hands far enough for them to reach, they withdraw with indignation and a sense of bitter bewilderment.

Such was her fate long ago, that haunts her until this moment, permeating other areas of her life.

I will not judge but my heart sheds tears. I remain a bystander, and pray for her to have strength to turn things around in favour of her joy and peace.

God bless her!

Finding joy in little things has always been a practice encouraged by many happy souls. In agreement with that line of truth, I always try to be aware of seemingly unimportant yet lovely moments, but the most authentic feeling of that truth struck me a few days ago.

Jumping and hopping in joy for something that might have seemed trivial to others on that very special day, I was brought to realisation that that was how it was supposed to feel like. On normal days, I would still leap in innocent bliss, but that day was different; a reality check two days before had intensified the sense of contentment and appreciation I felt so profoundly by just accomplishing a simple task.

The experience made me realise that when we face difficult barriers, after overcoming them, or at least in my case, understanding how the barriers can be turned into opportunities, we will be better able to appreciate tiny but significantly joyful events of life.

I rest my case; the barriers have shown me they are not all that bad since they have revealed their positive influence.

I am tough. Or so I thought I was.

Learning the opposite these past two weeks has dealt a blow to my confidence, sending me back into introspection mode.

When dealing with a weakness, and trying to get better at it, improving yet still not quite reaching the gold standard, can be quite an annoyance that lingers long enough to stab me again and again.

I tried to search for peace in myself with dealing with that weakness. It led me to switch on the memory player in my head to analyse ways to improvise, and for that matter, edges that required trimming, buffering or polishing.

Even though I discovered a few precious quotes to reprogramme the structure of my thoughts at that time, I was faced with that weakness again today. Although not as intense as before, it stifled my confidence for a recurring second time.

I am going to take out the quotes again this time and see to it that I recover from the stab wounds adequately. I’m pretty much responsible for my own recovery.

I will type them out, and reabsorb every single word:

1) Turn wounds into wisdom. - Oprah Winfrey -

2) Dare to be a fool. - Anonymous -

3) Good judgment comes from experience, and experience - well, that comes from poor judgment. - Cousin Woodman -

4) Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want. - Dan Stanford -

5) Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. - Dalai Lama -

It is indeed difficult to predict where an unattached root may find a comfortable soil as solid long-term ground for support whilst growing.

No matter how much independent yolk the root may have to sustain an equitably healthy growth, the need for support in turbulent times carries no less a weight. Prodding and poking through various types of soil, to find a variant with compatible nutrients, it is either a great coincidence or a well-deserved fortune that one with well-matched moisture level and nutritional components may be discovered.

What next for the root?

To ascertain if the soil is not catering to other roots.

Lately, I have been pretty much filled with brain activity. It’s not that I don’t like it, in fact, I love to have my brain immersed for long hours on difficult and important details to the point that I may be incapable of recognising fatigue until it really kicks me hard, which does not suggest a good habit.

I am accomplishing many tasks, yet there are things on the sideline of which I have been letting go a bit.

In an effort to appease the part of me that still thinks I can probably do much more while already sticking to important schedules, I am writing this post, the underlying motivation for which may be to offer myself an explanation for my absence in certain areas (as is popularly known, clearly writing down ideas has an inherent power to clarify thoughts).

Over the past few months, I have been completely honest to myself, getting all that I want done, done. Come next week, there will be an important opportunity that I may be missing due to an assessment. Part of me foresaw the impending clash, part of me wants to have the best of both worlds, part of me is willing to dismiss the event of less profound priority.

To me, both situations are important, yet not both are of equal priority. Both are definitive elements of growth, yet one is a priority, one is a choice.

I am halfway at the arrival of a decision. I may let go of the choice element in order to maintain an optimum level of happiness and contentment.

Either way, priority will always be given to the assessment.

To unclutter my life, is to do myself a big favour.

Cheers!

It is the beauty of the day that I look forward to, it is the lovely people whom I get to meet that I cherish and the great vast planet that I adore.

Having consciousness running through my veins keeps me aware of myself and various happenings that envelope my world.

Now more than before, I have wonderful lessons of peace, joy, gratitude, positivity and clear mindedness stored close to me. When I decide that a bothering thought is overwhelming, I would reach for the lessons I have gathered and allow them to cleanse any unwelcome thrashing feeling that manages to weave its way into my core.

I’ve since found that housekeeping this way has proven useful to keep my mind and heart clear of messy debts that would otherwise come back to cause massive upheavals of my emotions. Hence, I feel much cleansed these days.

Oh the lovely liberating feeling that flows; oh the wondrous place I’ve been searching so long for; oh the things I’d owed myself for so many years, oh the decisions I ought to be so responsible for. All these I’m doing now so that I wouldn’t be indebted to myself for as long as the debts are capable of growing.

I’m holding myself responsible for myself now. I’m responsible for the actions that I take now, I’m the one to bear the consequences of my words now, I’m the one I will fix should there be a need, I’m the navigator of my feelings from now forward and I’m the one who will determine the course of my living time, with the blessings of the Lord.

With every breath I take, I absorb and cherish you, world!

God Bless!

Every time I’m on the homepages of Yahoo or MSN, there is always something interesting to read about, whether it be groundbreaking news, celebrity gossips or tips to live by.

Here, this time I’d like to share a piece that will give you an insight about human behaviours and how it is important to stay positive by understanding the few behaviours listed:

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/8-toxic-personalities-to-avoid-461078/

God Bless! =]

Sleep terrors. Do they affect you?

When the mind is in a resting state, all sorts of weird events take place within the body, sometimes resulting in physical expressions even the person is not aware of. Sleep terrors occur when a person ends up screaming in terror while asleep, at times not even remembering it ever happened. Other forms of peculiar activities that can take place while a person is asleep are sleep eating, sleep driving, sleep sex-ing and sleep walking (the most common of all).

While they are catogorised as sleeping diseases that afflict the lives of many, the reasons of the occurences are no less related to our lifestyles. It still all boils down to us and how we go about our daily routine. Basically, if the moments we spend awake are terrorised by stress and worries with little or no time at all in a day to calm down and be at peace, the chances are we are prone to having nightmares, insomnia and all kinds of sleeping disorders due to the inability of the brain to tune down all the chaos accumulated during the day.

It was interesting to learn from the Oprah Show that while our ancestors used to maintain a ritual of sorts that eventually led to restful sleeps, such as dimming the lights, shutting out noise and donning on lose clothings before going to bed, we now are drowned in a world full of distractions. You know what I mean - the TV, the computer, Internet, clubs, etc. It is no wonder then that our minds are perpetually in a weary labyrinth of confusion and disorder thanks to advanced states of development (pun intended).

The time has come for us to realise the disorderly condition of the world that is now and take measures to keep the clarity of our minds intact.

The heart and the mind are vital components of us all, and they shall be treated with utmost care and prudence.

God Bless Us!

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” - Proverbs 4:23

I am glad to say I am an avid reader of a particular blog about happiness. The writer of the blog is a lady who is on a mission to get humans to think about their own happiness and be on their own quest of happiness the way she has embarked on this whole happiness project and doing it on a daily basis.

Her life now is devoted to this project as she manages her website and aims to complete another book at the end of this year.

Her words are engaging, her ideas thought-provoking and her heart simply is reflected in her words.

The site is aptly named: www.happiness-project.com.

Happy reading! =D