From The Bottom Of My Heart

It is still dumbfounding.

It still numbs the heart.

It still pierces from all sides.

Has anyone ever wondered what it is to be fake and what it is to be real?

Being fake means doing things out of wanting to gain popularity, attention and consent. The human nature is simple. Greed is the drive. Having a bag is not enough, it must be beautiful, sassy, and most important of all, it must be the envy of others.

To live that way, unfortunately, is to give away one’s self entirely to society.

Until we begin to see who we are and what we are on the inside, following others and their trends will be like a hole we dig for ourselves because it destroys our entire identity, wholly, ruthlessly. When we just follow and follow, without knowing our identities, it will be a destruction that will cost much to our own dignity.

At the end of the day, who are we trying to please? Others?

Ever felt so much injustice you want to scream, "Where is justice?"

I was watching TV, Oprah was on, the discussion was with the Goldman family, one of two families who suffered the murder of a family member, for which the murderer was O.J. Simpson.

The topic of discussion was not so much the murder trial, the infamous one in which O.J. Simpson was acquited, but centred on whether it was right or justifiable for the Goldman family to finally agree to have the book O.J. Simpson authored to be released to the market.

Information if you do not already know: 11 years after the murders, O.J. Simpson released a book titled "If I Did It", which according to those who have read, was in a way, a form of implicit confession made by O.J. Simpson. In the book, O.J., it seemed, detailed the murder scenes and the crimes with immaculate accuracy.

Of course, apart from the fact that since the trial was so immensely publicised with widespread access to the pictures and details of the murders on television, in newspapers and magazines, hence easily picked up by anyone who kept track of the high profile murder trial, the audacity with which he actually came up with the book, teasing and jeering at the families of the victims and others who were involved, of how he had escaped punishment, is so despicable and disturbing. It occurs to be truly unbelievable that despite the presence of the load of evidences pointing to his guilt, he escaped.

The details of the case can be found here:

http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/Simpson/Simpsonaccount.htm

The Goldman family won the right to the book and have decided put the book on bookstore shelves. Initially, the two families were dead against it, but now when the right has finally bounced into the hands of the Goldman family, they want to put it out there in the market. Why? I did wonder.

They have the discretion to act as they wish. To them, it is a solid action to show that they would not allow sales of the book to benefit him in any way, but since they are in control now, any money would go to them, part of which would go into the estate for the children of the female victim, O.J.’s ex-wife. Her children are his children too. According to them, it is a form of fight against him and perhaps the book will only allow the public to see what a twisted person he is inside.

I can’t imagine how the children feel. A father who brutally slashed to death their mother, yet pleaded not guilty, only to come up with the book, a form of subtle confession that will not amount to punishment, as it is after all, a hypothetical book titled "If I Did It".

Oh well, evil is really sometimes unforeseen, or unseen at all. As in the case of Ann Rule, she exclaimed, "Sometimes, you don’t know when evil is near you". She was referring to the evil of her dear friend Ted Bundy, a serial killer of the late 1970s. When he was on his killing spree, he portrayed a superbly confident and charming fellow, normal, handsome, sociable; he was even about to be a lawyer by then. This was just another case of a wretched individual.

We just do not know until the crimes take place.

They themselves probably could not control their attacks, though their despicable acts can never be justified.

They just needed help. Unfortunate cases are saddening, really.

When all things fail, we can still pray. Pray for peace, for the families of victims, pray for repentance, for the touch of grace upon lives.

"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life." - Proverbs 4:23

God Bless!

My thoughts are in random mode now.

There is something about humanity that I am wondering about. I was reading a book. Inside, there was a narrative regarding a book the great-grandmother of the narrator’s friend wrote. It was called "Respect, self-reliance and responsibilities". A chord inside me was shaking. "I could probably have a look at that book", I imagined, weirdly. I wanted a book I came across in a book.

As I worded, my thoughts are running all over the place.

Philosophy is not popular at all in this region. Isn’t it a disappointing fact that we have not reached that level yet, where liberal arts and the sciences of humanity play huge parts in our lives? Aren’t our minds and hearts the more essential elements of living?

We have been material and selfish too much.

"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life." - Proverbs 4:23

I stumbled upon something triggered my thinking cells while browsing pages.

How often can two different people think alike?

And what to do if you experience it?

Personally, I have experienced it with a handful of people thus far in my life, but more so with two particular persons, one more often than the other.

When two people with different personalities think about one thing in the same way, how different can they be? I do wonder occasionally.

The experience can be rather shocking and exciting, though reactions may vary with people. Sometimes a little too much of it may instil a sense of creepiness into those experiencing such coincidences that seem never ending.

As much as some may find it an eye-opener, a portion may feel fearful about such experiences because on one hand, it may be comforting to know that there are others who think the same, but on another hand, a sense of invasion may develop as a result of the need to protect certain thoughts of our own.

Next, what do we do if we chance upon a person who thinks like we do?

On personal account, I find it more than interesting to know that there is another person at this particular moment who may be thinking what I am thinking. It may not be ideas, it may not be plans, but more of what comes into our heads when we see an object, a person, when we hear a song, the lyrics, when we discuss a particular subject, what runs through our minds when we are in an event.

I hope I can confidently say I have found that person and I know for as long as my memory lives, I will always appreciate and treasure that person. It feels like I have always known what that person has always been thinking, even to the point of why and when the person started to think that way. Even though I am not completely sure, I am confident enough to say I know. I stand to be corrected though.

However, the ironic part of it is that I am aware that we have different personalities, yet the thoughts are always the same. Could personalities be more of emotions then and how emotions are handled, more than what thoughts there are?

There have been many times when the person would say something and I would go, "Hey, that’s exactly what I thought just two seconds ago!". Sometimes I said it so many times that it appeared ridiculous to me, but the many times were so real and never failed to surprise me. There were even times when we both hummed the same part of the same song at the same time, only to turn to each other and be taken aback with eyes wide open.

I still cannot really believe it, but I believe in truth and the sense of realness.

I have experienced such moments with a few others but with less intensity as to the timing and exact words.

These experiences have made my life so real. That there is a connection between people is so true and beyond this life, there will be a greater connection, which I believe we will all experience for real when the time comes.

This sameness amidst differences, I will treasure, I will cherish, for real, for life.

Being surrounded by natural things makes you natural. I agree.

Being able to experience great emotions that comes with great revelation makes you rational. I agree too.

I will forever be grateful and ready to accept.

To experience a leech bite for the first time in 22 years, I remain proud, for the sake of it being the first.

Yet, the better part is to be enveloped in His presence and laying all down in His hands, as it always should be.

I have had my fair share of wrong-doings, explosion of temper and emotions. Sometimes too much, or sometimes mixed, with a burst of anger at one moment, a surge of sadness in the next second, then maybe an urge to chuckle over plain silliness, childishness and naivety.

Yet, I realise the more intense they are, the more they tell me that I hold dearly to heart, of all, of everything, of splendid a bond, embedded with no compromise.

Flutter, flutter, with wings so strong,

Leaning, to scents sweet they seem,

Fresh tastes abound, a cycle worthwhile,

Flutter, still flutter, like they always have.

"Empathy is life’s connective tissue" - Anonymous