From The Bottom Of My Heart

Man, after looking at a range of words that mean only stylish and elegant from morning until current time: 4.30 pm, I can’t quite distinguish ordinary words anymore.

Suddenly, graceful, delicate, wonderful, glorious words adorned with dazzling white of diamonds, appear difficult to swallow anymore.

Too much of beauty and charm is really suffocating.

I’ll stick to the ordinary and plain.

Or It may also mean that probably I’m not cut out to live a glamorous life!?!?

I’m actually quite convinced so since writing that piece gave me a hard time that even plastics and mattresses were more comforting.

I’m done with it though. Hope to allow my brain some time to recover from the sparkling daze of jewels. Oh boy!

(@.@)

I am hooked!

I am so hooked!

…

To Olivia’s Grace & Gratitude album.

Listening to the tracks can attach a lingering smile to my Chinese face; and I do mean the entire album has that effect on me. I certainly did not expect to be playing the CD repeatedly but it will go on as long as I do not take it out from my player.

Why? I can explain that. The tracks sound so real and effortless on her part, her heart is literally translated into the vocals on them. She has gone through much suffering and taken it into her stride to emerge a truly wonderful being.

In fact, I have been told and made aware that everyone has a glorious voice inside. To deliver it out is achievable when you experience peace and serenity in a very genuine sense, that your heart leaps in joy whatever the circumstance may be. There is always a song in us that is ever ready to be sung.

Slowly, I am convinced by that revelation. All that is has been there, it is only a matter of gripping it now, and now. To learn is to be conscious of our actions and reactions, and deriving meaning from them.

I remain amazed at the captivating rhythms.

=]

Today has been a great day. Lunch was awesome, spicy, but probably too much that my stomach is feeling confused now.

The day has been great, but I feel awful.

Early in the morning, I did something that gave me peace of mind spiritually, I did it before hitting the sack last night too. After each session of it I always wonder if it will be followed by not-so-good moments since being in a cycle is what everything is all about. Not too good a habit I guess.

After months, I have finally managed to clear the junk mails that have been terrorising my inbox. They date back to Dec 2006 and while shoving them into the thrash, a few unread emails appeared. I admit, during uni days I did not check my email regularly unless for important projects, hence some are overdue badly. I wouldn’t say I was totally unaware though, but I tend to get into the habit of overlooking certain areas if there are more important ones I think my attention should be at.

All these backtrackings made me reflect and ponder a lot. I’m wondering how much of myself I think dear ones know about me and how much they actually do know and care. All the time, I have hopes, not so much of them being expectations, but the hopes of knowing more about you, about what you think, about what matters to you and about myself as well as my reactions.

I only wish I could me made aware in a more solid way, anytime, in whatever way possible because I definitely want to know. All that have happened, all that were shared, only point to the direction that I definitely want to know and it matters to me!

I’m finding inspiration now. At this very moment.

The mind and the body function well in certain areas at particular times. Something that you couldn’t accomplish last week may well be a walk in the park today. So, be aware of the gentle strokes of the breeze in the park.

During my drive this morning, while listening to Olivia Newton John’s ‘Love Is Letting Go Of Fear’, it made me realise again that it may be a challenge to some to love. It may be because it awakens a few intangible senses if we decide to love and to show love. That can be scary because the latent feeling may be peculiar and too distinct to comprehend in a sudden realisation.

On another hand, some love only too easily or readily.

Whatever the case is, why suppress if it’s only natural! Natural stuff are meant to be natural. =]

When love is not denied, it is only for the better of humanity, for you and me, for him and her, and for it.

Experience the craddling in the arms of God! =]

I’ve noticed that I’m actually quite lazy, not as I wish to be but naturally reluctant to move much without pushing, especially if I’m unfamiliar with the activity. I may be interested but hesitant.

It may be due to the fact that I’m a bit slow to settle down but whatever the reason, I would like to move faster.

I feel too comfortable now. Haha.

I would like to feel euphoric. I am actually, though I need to keep that in check unpurposefully, by just feeling, doing and believing. I still reminisce and I still believe.

Last weekend was eventful to my humble self. I finally came about to doing something I’ve been harbouring for years (another slow symptom). It was the beginning of a Raleigh life for me, only the beginning. There will be a long road ahead but the many Raleigh dreams I still harbour I hope to continue working on aside from other areas.

As Martin Luther King said, ”You don’t have to see the whole staircase to take the first step.”

So I shall ascend.

My current thoughts: I’m excited to get a new backpack! My ideal one has been hovering in my imagination for a while now. I need to get the correct size, colour and of course, no compromise on quality.