From The Bottom Of My Heart

A full blast of pre- signals is what it was and probably still is.

The blast was just probably magnified by the circumstances.

That is how dark a female can be feeling.

I do not deny though, that I still wonder if I should have gone for ‘it’. If I had gone, how would it have turned out to be? Will I still be sitting here typing away?

Initially I stuck to the thought, ‘don’t go, don’t know’.

Then, I swayed to, ‘if you don’t think you’ll like it, why waste time’.

Now, I’m wondering what would have happened but still convincing myself to acknowledge the fact that I don’t like to feel controlled and shoved around for the benefit of what I feel dark about or that creates a negative buzz in my gut.

Can my gut feeling be right?

I’m facing a barrier again.

I dread situations like this, yet without them, no changes and improvements can be achieved.

I really don’t know what is going on in my mind now; don’t know how to focus and make a firm decision.

There are too many issues flying around in my head now, they seem to overlap each other and my usual decision-making mechanism is out of control.

I feel like I need a break.

It is easier to just do what I like and want to do.

This sentiment arose last week, and it appeared again today.

I may seem naive and quiet, or nonchalant to certain stuff said, but I remain perched steadily with my own principles.

I feel as if I am existing in a world that is too ‘real’. They may find it is all that defines them, but to me, what defines my world and life is intangible.

I’d rather laugh than mope over issues, it can be tiring (haha) to look at the dark side. I’d rather be a child than ponder too much on who should win the election. It is important to have the support of the majority but if it should happen, it will happen.

I may be in the know, but I may choose to say little. I may look unassuming and fresh, but calm waters have their own mystery and history.

Shouldn’t we spread more positivity than burden the world with negative aura?

We are very much kids inside! =]

God bless!